How to Talk to Someone You've Never Met

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Speaking to someone you've never met is easy. The secret is not to get nervous, pay attention and ask questions. You should not wait too long, because if you do, someone else might talk to him first, and then he will be gone. Take a deep breath, think of a good salutation, and go for it!

Steps

1. Make eye contact. This is a great way to connect to someone. They know you are interested.
   
2. Smile. The law of reciprocity says to give what you want. You will be amazed how many people smile back if you smile at them. Be sure it is a relaxed smile. There really isn't a right or wrong way to smile, so relax.
   
3. Say "Hello" or some other greeting. Be a little creative if you like. Specially if you can determine with certainty his/her first language try to greet with that language. "Aloha" and "Guten Tag" are two favorites. Be careful not to make assumptions about an individual's language based solely upon his/her appearance, however, as he could be offended if you guess incorrectly. Be warned that the more creative you are, the more likely they are to not understand you.
   
4. Evaluate the situation. If they are not maintaining eye contact with you, did not smile back, or did not respond to your greeting, then they may be otherwise distracted or this may not be a good time. If you will have an opportunity to talk to them soon (i.e. you see them on a regular basis) then you may want to wait. Otherwise continue.
   
5. Maintain eye contact and keep smiling, but be relaxed. Maintaining eye contact shows you are interested and intent, and generally everyone likes a smile.
   
6. Comment about something mutual: the weather, sports, work (if you work together), your location or situation (stuck in an elevator), traffic, etc. Talk about something you can both relate to, but not too personal. It's a great way to break the ice.
   
7. Tell them your name. Again, on the law of reciprocity, if you offer your first and last name then they will typically tell you theirs. But, it's better to start with your first name.
   
8. Offer your hand. If you offer your hand, then they will usually shake it.
   
9. Ask them a question, especially about Family, Occupation or Recreation (remember what questions are FOR). These are great things to ask questions about if you cannot think of anything else. It is important when asking questions that you are not interrogating them. Most people love to talk about themselves, but if they don't, then don't press them.
   
10. Listen to what they say. Remember details. Ask more questions that show you were paying attention.
    
11. Get a question in return. Eventually they will probably ask you a question, too (law of reciprocity). This is called a conversation. Answer their questions, but don't get too caught up talking about yourself.
    

Tips

• Practice smiling and saying "Hello" with every stranger you meet. You will be surprised how many people respond positively. Practice "small talk" too. This will build your comfort level and help you be more relaxed. And you may make more new friends in this process.
  
• Laugh at their jokes.
  
• Remember, they are probably shy, too.
  
• Be sincere.
  
• As you get to know someone, they become more comfortable with you. The secret is to never push their comfort level.
  
• Start talking to them from a safe distance, but not so far away they cannot hear you. As they become more comfortable, you can move closer.
  
• If they appear uncomfortable, then give them space and slow down.
  
• If they are already speaking with somebody else, consider whether they would want you to break in to that conversation. Generally, if people are standing in a closed circle or making direct eye contact, the group is not ready to welcome newcomers. If they stand with a space in the circle, that is usually an invitation for others to join the group.
  
• Remember what they say, and refer to it next time you talk to them. That will show you paid attention.
  
• Think of how you would initially react when you recognise a familiar friend; your body orientation, eye movement, tone of voice, type of smile. Then try to mimic it upon meeting a stranger.
  
• Don't take it personally if the individual is arrogant, sarcastic, immature, or otherwise rude in his/her initial reply. This is a sign of emotional immaturity and is usually a maladaptive defense mechanism. Confident, self-actualized people will always remain polite yet assertive even when approached by someone they don't have the least bit of interest in talking to. Simply laugh it off as if they told a joke and move on, paying them no more attention. They didn't tell a joke, of course: they were the joke.
  

Warnings

• Do not interrogate them.
  
• Do not come across as a stalker.
  
• Each step is designed to build on the increased comfort of the step before. If you start with asking them questions before you smile at them, then they are more likely to be uncomfortable.
  
• Don't hesitate before you approach, either do it casually or move on. It comes off very creepy to have somebody eyeballing you for several minutes before they walk over.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Make Friends All over the World
  
• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
  
• How to Make Friends
  
• How to Have a Great Conversation
  
• How to Start a Conversation With Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway
  
• How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
  
• How to Admit You Like Someone
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Talk to Someone You've Never Met. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Whether you are a host or a guest, there are many social situations that will call for interaction, even when you are stumped for some way to get it going. For example, you might want to help a friend's new "significant other" feel comfortable. Or, you might see a stranger across a crowded room, and realize that this is your only chance to impress Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Then, you realize that you're not sure what to say.

Steps

1. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
   
2. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
   
3. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
   
4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
   
5. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
   
6. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
   
7. Don't forget to smile and have fun with your conversation!
   

Video

Tips

• Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
  
• Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
  
• It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. Also remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is building up your own library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation someday. It will be amazing how you thread these interesting things when you least expect it, and make conversation an adventure instead of a dreadful task. If you take it to the next step and say things that you want the person to think of as adding value, and keep to yourself things that the person might not, you are actually honing your own personality to be appealing to the other person, and what is a greater act of kindness than that.
  
• If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
  
• Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
  
• Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about. You could also use a set of conversation starter question cards for inspiration.
  
• If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
  
• Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
  
• Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about
  

Warnings

• Don't be overly invasive with questions.
  
• Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
  
• Don't desperately ask personal questions.
  
• Keep eye-contact
  
• Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing
  
• Don't forget these tips,which you try to remember while reading and forget while in conversation.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Talk to a Guy You've Never Met Before
  
• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
  
• How to Have a Great Conversation
  
• How to Join a Conversation
  
• How to Not Always Talk About the Same Things
  
• How to Come up With Good Conversation Topics
  
• How to Converse with a Guy Online
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Have a Great Conversation

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

The art of conversation takes practice, and is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, and you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.

Steps

1. Listen. This is the most important part of any conversation. You might think a conversation is all about talking, but it will not go anywhere if the listener is too busy thinking of something to say next. Pay attention to what is being said. When you talk to the other person, injecting a thought or two, they will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
   
2. Find out what the other person is interested in. You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
   
3. Ask questions. What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their lives? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.
   
4. Forget yourself. Dale Carnegie once said, "It's much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you." If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
   
5. Practice active listening skills. Part of listening is letting the other person know that you are listening. Make eye contact. Nod. Say "Yes," "I see," "That's interesting," or something similar to give them clues that you are paying attention and not thinking about something else - such as what you are going to say next.
   
6. Ask clarifying questions. If the topic seems to be one they are interested in, ask them to clarify what they think or feel about it. If they are talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn from them. Everyone loves having a chance to teach another willing and interested person about their hobby or subject of expertise.
   
7. Paraphrase back what you have heard, using your own words. This seems like an easy skill to learn, but takes some practice to master. Conversation happens in turns, each person taking a turn to listen and a turn to speak or to respond. It shows respect for the other person when you use your "speaking turn" to show you have been listening and not just to say something new. They then have a chance to correct your understanding, affirm it, or embellish on it.
   
8. Consider your response before disagreeing. If the point was not important, ignore it rather than risk appearing argumentative. If you consider it important then politely point out your difference of opinion. Do not disagree merely to set yourself apart, but remember these points:
   
   • It is the differences in people--and their conversation--that make them interesting.
     
   • Agreeing with everything can kill a conversation just as easily as disagreeing with everything.
     
   • A person is interesting when they are different from you; a person is obnoxious when they can not agree with anything you say, or if they use the point to make themselves appear superior.
     
   • Try to omit the word "but" from your conversation when disagreeing as this word often puts people on the defensive. Instead, try substituting the word "and", it has less of an antagonistic effect.
     
   
   
9. Consider playing devil's advocate - which requires care. If your conversation partner makes a point, you can keep the conversation going by bringing up the opposite point of view (introduce it with something like "I agree, and..."). If you overuse this technique, however, you could end up appearing disagreeable or even hostile.
   
10. Do not panic over lulls. This is a point where you could easily inject your thoughts into the discussion. If the topic seems to have run out, use the pause to think for a moment and identify another conversation topic or question to ask them. Did something they said remind you of something else you have heard, something that happened to you, or bring up a question or topic in your mind? Mention it and you'll transition smoothly into further conversation!
    
11. Know when the conversation is over. Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Shake hands with the other person and be sure to tell them you enjoyed talking with them. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!
    
12. Make a good first impression. Smile, ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer, and really listen. Maintain eye contact and keep as friendly and polite as possible.
    

Video

Tips

• If, after the conversation concludes, you come away feeling full of yourself there is a chance you maneuvered the talk to serve your own agenda and steam-rolled your counterpart. You used the occasion to show off your wit and knowledge. Try to keep from using a conversation to boost your ego.
  
• Always think before you speak. Do not take a long time to answer but listen well to keep on the right track with the conversation. Try not to make an embarrassing mistake, such as giving an opinion which may disrespect someone else. Choose your words carefully, but do not create pointless silences by keeping your conversation partner waiting for 5 minutes before you answer a simple question.
  
• Remember that sometimes if a conversation isn't going well, it might not be your fault! Sometimes the other person isn't interested in listening, or isn't willing to contribute or maybe by nature they are an introvert. If they don't speak or listen, then it's their fault for having poor conversation skills, not yours.
  

Warnings

• Choose carefully when asking personal questions. You do not want to venture into overly personal issues. Even if the other person might be willing to talk about it, you may end up learning things that you really do not want to know. You certainly do not want the other person to think afterward that you coerced them into revealing personal information.
  
• Be sincere! Compliments are great, but too much flattery is obvious and will reveal you as being insincere.
  
• Beware of topics that can be inflammatory - such as religion and politics - and don't venture into them unless you know the person has roughly the same convictions as you, or the circumstances otherwise allow for pleasant discussion. Again, it's fine to disagree and can be nice to talk about differences, but it can also be a quick step toward an argument.
  
• Try not to argue! You do not have to agree with everything someone says, but you do not have to tell them all about how you disagree. If you feel the need to explain an opposing viewpoint, express it simply and without putting the other person on the defensive. It is better to simply change the subject in a casual conversation than to get involved in an argument.
  
• Try not to nod or respond with "Yes" and "I see" so much. It might make the person feel that you are bored and may sometimes seem like you are rushing them along. Never say anything hurtful or offensive to the other person, this may project a bad feeling between you.
  
• If it is a planned conversation, try listening to the news in case you run out of things to say; it is always a good solution.
  
• Also try not to cut the person off mid-sentence. It seems disrespectful and it makes it seem like you think that what you have to say is more important than what others have to say. Let the person finish their thoughts and then continue on with thoughts of your own.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Start a Conversation when You Have Nothing to Talk About
  
• How to Write a Speech
  
• How to Lead a Discussion
  
• How to Make Friends All over the World
  
• How to Join a Conversation
  
• How to Come up With Good Conversation Topics
  

Sources and Citations

• Emily Post on "Conversation Etiquette"
  
• Talking with Children, from Family Fun Magazine
  
• The Fine Art of Small Talk, by Debra Fine
  
• http://www.afraid-of-speaking-a-speech.com/conversationstartertopics.html
  
• Develop better conversation skills
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Have a Great Conversation. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Elevate Your Self Esteem

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

For many years now, "self-esteem" has been synonymous with "positive self image," but that's not really what self-esteem is. Positive self-image is important - it's caring about yourself and seeing yourself as a unique and special individual simply because of who you are as a human being. Self-esteem is a positive sense of one's own worth that is based on actually doing worthy things - it's that feeling you get when you've accomplished something, and it's a great feeling. Here's how to build it and help others lift theirs in the process.

Steps

1. Do something to impress yourself. There's only one way to elevate your self-esteem - earn your own respect.
   
2. Set goals and work toward them. They don't have to be pie-in-the-sky, they can just be gradual improvements. For example: you have a B- overall grade point average. Resolve to raise your GPA at least a half grade each semester until you are a B+, then you will renegotiate. Begin to study harder, join a study group or choose a study partner. As you begin to gain mastery of your schoolwork and see your GPA rise to a B and finally to a B+, you will have a solid sense of accomplishment - and your self-esteem will rise.
   
3. Gain accomplishments and achievements. Study hard. Take that B+ and turn it into Honors by keeping it there for one to three years. Or play hard at a sport. Even if you are only average, the more you practice, the better you will get, and that's an achievement of its own. Choose something to excel at, choose a goal, and work hard toward it until you achieve - even working toward bettering yourself for the sake of doing it is a worthy pursuit.
   
4. Value noble pursuits. Academics and sports are time-honored traditional pursuits which can bring out the best in a person by testing intellectual and physical limits, and fostering individual and team efforts.
   
5. Help someone. Volunteer at a retirement home or a homeless shelter. Get involved with your church in a ministry to the sick or the poor. Donate your time and service to a humane animal shelter. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Nothing is more rewarding than offering your time and talent to elevate someone else's situation. And getting outside your own head and your normal circle of influence can be eye opening and humbling.
   
6. Practice humility. No one was ever a greater public servant than Mother Teresa, she helped the poor, the sick and the dying, and never turned anyone away. Yet Mother Teresa was a strong, noble soul who knew that if she did not help these people, perhaps no one would. That's real self-esteem: "I am only one person, but I can help these people." That's knowing and believing in the power of One Person to make a real difference.
   
7. Pass your skills and talents on to someone. Teaching someone your specialty will show you how much you really do know and have to offer. As you help a novice learn the skills you have honed, you will feel their admiration and respect for your prowess. And in turn, you will be helping another develop those same skills, so that they may be passed on again.
   
8. Allow children to build self-esteem honestly. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they're stupid - do you really think they don't know you let them win? Self-esteem isn't built by being handed a win. It's built by actually winning. Play a game with with your kid until he or she masters it - it can be anything: Dominos, Scrabble, Pokemon, a video game, Hearts - and whatever you do, do NOT play down to him or her. When you win, celebrate. Don't belittle him or call him a loser, just say, "Yay, I win!" And then say, "Let's see, did you make any mistakes? Maybe you didn't - maybe it was just a bad draw. Let's look at your game and see where it could improve." Help him, show him how to improve, and play again. Eventually, he or she will beat you. When she/he does, tell him or her to stand up on the table and do a victory dance. Look at her or his face. See how your child feels when he/she knows he/she earned this win, fair and square, and on his or her own? It's a huge difference, because it tells the child they have the power to win, if he/she sticks with something and tries hard. It can set the tone for the way she or he goes at things the rest of her or his life. Don't "let" them win. By doing so you rob him of the chance to earn a win honestly.
   

Tips

• Nobody can give you self-esteem. You have to earn it yourself.
  
• Choosing non-competitive pursuits may be possible, but competing, even if you don't win, is exciting and does make you sharpen your skills - thereby building your estimation of yourself.
  
• Believe that you can make a difference, one person or task at a time. Over time, as your efforts bear fruit, you will feel your inner sense of satisfaction at your accomplishments.
  
• Have a sense of humor - especially about yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously, keep things in perspective. And forgive thyself.
  

Warnings

• Avoid the temptation to turn self-esteem into conceit and arrogance. People with good self-esteem are very attractive. Arrogant louts aren't.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Be Happy
  
• How to Develop Self Esteem
  
• How to Be Energetic and Fun Loving
  
• How to Develop Self Esteem Through God
  
• How to Accept Unpopularity
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Elevate Your Self Esteem. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Develop Self Esteem

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by parents and family members tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. We think little of ourselves, and feel we do not deserve to be happy. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. You gain this confidence by believing that you are unique, you are special, and that you deserve to have your dreams come true!

Steps

1. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision. As you become secure in your ability to make good choices, you will gain confidence in yourself, and be more secure about your abilities in general.
   
   • For example, if purchasing jeans makes you nervous because of having to decide on brands, colors, and styles, then just take the plunge. This is a minor decision that can always be rectified by exchanging the jeans if you really feel you made a wrong decision. However, try to stick to your original choice.
     
   • Buy a shirt next, to go with the jeans. Take your time trying on different styles and colors. When you feel a bit of excitement inside of you, you will know you are making a good decision, so buy it. It is that inner feeling that will help you build up your feeling of self worth. You will begin to think, 'if I can do this well, I can do other things.' Your confidence grows, and so does your self esteem. Confidence and self worth go hand in hand.
     
   • Wear your jeans and shirt the next time you go to meet friends. Show off your outfit. You will know by the compliments you get that you did indeed make a good decision. Smile and be proud of yourself because you took the first step of many in gaining confidence in yourself via your ability to make decisions. The newfound confidence comes from your willingness to assert yourself and make a simple decision.
     
2. Reward yourself when you succeed. You deserve to have your dreams, and to make them come true. Believe in yourself completely, and others will also believe and trust you.
   
3. Improve your self confidence
   
4. Face your fears and forget all your failures. Get up and try again. It is not important that you failed, but that you tried to succeed.
   
5. Don't always try to please others. It is considerate to care about others' feelings but your needs are important also. Do not try to be like someone else either. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best, do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.
   
6. Avoid loud and aggressive persons or persons who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you. Do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.
   
7. Do something to impress yourself. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or vet's office. Be a Big Brother or Sister. Help someone else. Nothing makes you feel better about yourself than seeing how your help made someone else's load a little lighter. Take a class, study hard, and pass - learn something useful or interesting. It could be photography, oil painting, a literature appreciation class, or beginning guitar. Being accomplished raises self-esteem.
   
8. Try not to be perfect. Aiming for perfection in life is a lost cause because there is no such thing. Nobody is perfect in the eyes of everyone else, so by trying to be perfect you may just be setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, seek to achieve goals. In example, take a class of arts; study hard, and pass with flying color.They are much more realistic, much easier to reach, and can do wonders for your self-esteem.
   
9. stop the negative thoughts that you have in yourself. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” in relation to self-esteem basically states that whatever you believe about you, whether it be perfect or totally off base, becomes true. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never achieve success, you will in turn act as such. So, make a habit out of saying positive things about yourself and use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.
   
10. Learn to appreciate yourself. Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and less on the ones that you dislike. You can better accomplish this by taking up hobbies and projects that you can do that will make use of your strengths. Additionally, by starting on some projects that emphasize your good traits, it will keep you busy so you will end up spending less time thinking about your weaknesses.
    

Tips

• Watch the movie "Annie." It is about an orphaned girl who always seems to see the bright side in life. It will help you raise your self-esteem and not be so negative all the time.
  
• Your inner strength will enable you to reach your goals in life. If you fall down, pick yourself up and try again.
  
• As your self confidence builds, you will feel better about yourself, and your self esteem will grow from the inside out.
  
• Not all decisions may turn out to be right ones. Just keep in mind that right or wrong, you are the one who makes the decisions in your life. Because you are responsible for your choices, you have the power to change your situation. Do not let your confidence disappear because you made one wrong choice. Do not let the feeling of self worth that you have built up crumble and fall. There are other choices to be made; believe you can make them, and you will! Remember that most people will tell you that they would rather regret things they did do than things they didn't do. Be bold! And comfort yourself, if something doesn't quite work as well as hoped, that at least you tried something.
  
• Choices are made by individuals and their ability look deeply into themselves and say 'I can do that' or 'I would like that'.
  
• Decisions will not be only about what to buy or wear. We have to make decisions all of our lives about many details, circumstances, and people. It can be where to live, what type of person to marry, a choice of a job or career, where to go to school, or whether or not to go on to College. It could be if you move to another State, or to another country.
  
• Every day look at yourself in the mirror. Try to find something to admire about yourself, and try to say some positive things about yourself and your accomplishments and achievements.
  
• Make sure your self talk is positive at all times. Tell yourself how great you are, or how good you look today, anything positive about yourself to help you feel confident. Make being positive your natural state of being.
  
• Visualize yourself being surrounded by people, who are patting you on the back or shaking your hand, or standing clapping you. Visualization is a very powerful tool to use.
  
• The most important thing of all is that you have to believe in yourself. If you believe you can, then you will be able to.
  
• Once you convince your subconscious the way you want to be, you will find that you will start to become far more confident and life will be the way you want it.
  
• Be aggressive. Boosting your self-esteem is all about getting what you need/want. So do things for your own sake. Remember, you must help yourself first before you can help others. You can't lose or give away what you don't have so be selfish and when you come to a higher level to yourself you can start helping others with lower self-esteem. And at the end only you will recollect what you have done and define who you are and what you're about.
  
• Listen to a song that suits your mood. There is a song for almost everything! When you jam to a favorite tune that you can relate to, it gives you confidence.
  

Warnings

• Some decisions will involve another person, a medical decision, or where to live if you marry. Therefore, some decisions may have to be made jointly. You might have to compromise, but once your self confidence becomes something that you can rely upon, that inner feeling of self worth will guide you through tough decisions.
  
• The opposite feeling of self-esteem is anxiety. But don't immediately dismiss this feeling. Feeling anxious is not a good nor a bad feeling. It's just a mechanism of yourself of telling you that there's something wrong and you need to act upon it. Anxiety is the fuel to responding to what is wrong and thus developing self esteem.
  
• Be careful not to overdo your esteem-building, as it could lead to conceit and arrogance if not done in moderation.
  
• Everyone goes through the phases of feeling low or high i.e. low or high self esteem. This happens especially; if you judge yourself by your successes or failures (as others do). If you learn to estimate yourself by the nature of actions (e.g. their benefit to the society), then you are likely to develop high self esteem (respect yourself) without any disrespect or bitterness about others.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Become Less of a Control Freak
  
• How to Improve Your Self Esteem
  
• How to Feel Beautiful
  
• How to Be Popular if You Have No Self Esteem
  
• How to Lose Your Faith Without Losing Your Mind
  
• How to Accept Who You Are
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Develop Self Esteem. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Join a Conversation

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Hear a conversation that sounds interesting and want to get in it?

Steps

1. Listen to what they are saying, and when it's appropriate, give your opinion on whatever they're talking about or ask a question. If you don't know what they are talking about but it sounds interesting, ask them about it.
   
2. Continue in the conversation as if you were already part of it, and hopefully they won't have a problem with you joining. It is often best to start with a small comment and judge the reaction before continuing.
   

Tips

• If you walk in on a conversation and have no clue what they're talking about, don't say anything until you've figured out what they're talking about. You could say something stupid and embarrass yourself.
  
• If you know the people who are talking they will be more likely to let you join. However, if anyone hints to go away, you should.
  
• Try to see what kind of conversation it is before jumping in. Personal conversations are best avoided, and do not linger near one too long, as you might be deemed nosy.
  
• Try to read the body language of the people talking. Before you join, see if the people are talking closely or in hushed tones; if it seems to be a serious conversation, you might want to leave them alone. If the group seems more open, take the opening. If the members of the conversation try to nudge you out, take the hint and assume the conversation was personal in nature.
  

Warnings

• The biggest conversation-killer is self-consciousness. Don't worry about saying something stupid; it happens to all of us at some point. The worst thing you can do is to not speak up when there is a fitting opportunity.
  
• Do not repetitively barge in on a conversation, or else you might be considered nosy, and that will likely be used against you when you try to join future conversations.
  
• Do not barge in on a personal conversation, as you probably will receive negative feedback from the conversers.
  
• Sometimes, even if you do join the conversation appropriately, some or all of the people involved will still be irritated and try to push you out. If so, that is their problem, and you should probably not bother trying to join their conversations again; it isn't worth it.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Have a Great Conversation
  
• How to Start a Conversation With Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway
  
• How to Make Small Talk
  
• How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
  
• How to Be Confident
  
• How to Converse with a Guy Online
  
• How to Talk Professionally on the Phone
  
• How to Talk to Parents So They'll Understand
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Join a Conversation. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Clean a Loofah or Natural Sponge

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Loofahs and natural sponges become slimy when used for a time with soap. Bringing them back to as good as new is simple.

Steps

1. Rinse the loofah or natural sponge under a cold running water.
   
2. Soak the loofah or sponge in a small bowl filled with 2 tablespoons of vinegar to each litre of water. Leave to soak for 2 hours.
   
3. Remove from the bowl and shake gently to remove excess liquid.
   
4. Set out to dry on a clean surface, such as the bathtub.
   
5. Use again. The loofah or natural sponge should be as good as new.
   

Tips

• It is advisable to wash loofahs and natural sponges regularly to deter soap build-up. Follow the cleaning advice here regularly to remove soap build-up.
  

Things You'll Need

• Loofah or natural sponge
  
• Running cold water
  
• Bowl
  
• 2 tablespoons vinegar per litre water
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Soften a Hard Loofah
  
• How to Clean Hairbrushes and Combs
  
• How to Clean Soap Scum from Glass Shower Doors
  
• How to Pamper Yourself
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Clean a Loofah or Natural Sponge. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.